Becoming a mother changes your life, in many ways, both physically and mentally. One of the first changes is usually a missed period during pregnancy, also a newfound sleepiness (like Sleepy from Snow White), as it was on my case. Those changes begin at pregnancy, but they never end.
How it feels to become a mother?
When I suspected I was pregnant I bought a 2-pack at-home pregnancy test at the pharmacy. I remember that I thought I might not be pregnant, but I bought the test just in case. I wanted a positive test result, and I got two pregnancy tests with two very bright pink lines each. I was happily scared, because I was going to be a mom and it was a big change. My husband was not sure of the at-home pregnancy tests so the next day we went to the lab and I got a blood test, it was positive.
Since that moment my life changed and my mindset too. I was responsible for another life that grew every second inside of me.
Becoming a mother feels ecstatic, from the moment you know you are pregnant, to the moment each of your children are born and beyond.
What it means to be a mother?
Being a mother is a lifetime commitment, one that lasts longer than a house loan and one commitment you will only fully understand when you have kids. Children may see their parents’ behaviors as punitive sometimes and adults may still don’t understand many aspects or reasons of their parents before having a child of their own.
Having a child gives you a new perspective, a clearer and deeper perspective on life than the one you had before, it gives you answers to things you thought were already answered in your mind or already clear to you. This new vision comes from putting yourself in a new pair of shoes.
Being a mother gives you new limits on life of what you would and would not do, it’s like a new code of ethics to rule your life by. It also makes it clearer to you of what you will and will not accept from some people. Getting rid of toxic people in your life also becomes clearer to you, no matter if they are family, friends or even your child’s doctor, if you think it is on your child best interest.
You became an advocate for someone who can’t fight for themselves yet, even if you have to fight your own internal battles to do so. I have been a terribly shy and introverted person my whole life, but I have learned the art of small talk and socially speaking for my kids, as well as became a trained advocate for my kids well-being.
What no one tells you about becoming a mother?
When you have your first child you assume all babies behave similarly, but when you have a second one, you know you were wrong. As there aren’t two two mothers who are the same, there aren’t two babies who behave in the same way.
My firstborn was a quiet and serene sweet baby boy, who didn’t even cried when he was born, he was healthy, but he just didn’t wanted to cry. To this day he has the same personality as the day he was born, always behaving properly and talking to older people like the city’s mayor.
On the other side, my daughter was a sweet force of nature, since before she was born, as she wanted to come to this world before the doctor and nurses were ready, one moment I wasn’t fully dilated and the next she was born, crying her lungs out, so everyone knew she was here. She still is a sweet force of nature, doing things her own way with the wisdom of an old lady and immensely creative.
Another thing you may not know is that when you have children people on the street, at the supermarket or at the mall will randomly talk to you and give you advice, all kind of advice, and they sometimes say very random things.
Many times, when my children were little, and I was somewhere on a line with them, people told me how quiet they were and how good they were behaving, as if they were surprised that kids can have manners. Yes, children can have manners from a young age, especially if you explain them the details of what they are supposed to do and why. The why is the most important thing, even for really young kids.
What is the hardest part of being a new mom?
Being a new mom has lots of enjoyable moments, but it also has some hard ones and strange ones. For example, changing a diaper is like science, is a trial and error experiment, in which the first few days or weeks you try different diaper changing methods to see which one works better, because babies move around during diaper change, and sometimes is not easy. The best way I found out to change a diaper was to gently take my baby’s ankles in one hand and lift the legs and bottom a bit and slide a diaper below the baby’s bottom with the other hand. Also, the diaper cannot be too loose, or it will leak.
Sleep is another thing that is hard to get for some new moms, it is not that you cannot get any sleep, but you will get fragmented sleep. Sleep while the baby is sleeping is a really good advice, but you will only get bits and pieces of sleep stitched together, because of the baby constantly waking up for feedings and diaper changes. Breastfeeding and co-sleeping (safely), did the trick for me, because I had the baby’s milk ready whenever and wherever, and my baby was by my side sleeping. When he waked up, it took me less time to get to him, he was less fussy, because he was more asleep, and I only needed to get up to change his diaper, and then nurse him to sleep, most times he would not wake up for a few more hours. This also calmed me and made it easier to fall sleep again.
When you have a newborn even taking a bath may seem difficult if you are alone, but you can put your baby on the stroller and watch him from there, if he cries you will be there to soothe him.
But the hardest thing of being a new mom, by far, is having a sick baby, because between your physical and mental changes, you will also have to deal with a sick newborn. My son was born healthy, but on his first month of life he was hospitalized three times.
A few days after he was born the doctor discovered he had high bilirubin levels, for which he had to stay hospitalized, until his bilirubin levels got down. Some days after his release from the hospital he got a fever, and had to go to the emergency room, because of him being less than 3 months old and not having his vaccines yet. The third time, my son had a serious cough, and was admitted because he was close to a pneumonia.
It was not easy seeing my skinny tall newborn boy on that situation. I quietly cried my heart out on his hospital room bathroom more times than I can count, and it was not easy, but I overcome it as so many moms do it. On this kind of situations you have to get it all out, so after that you can focus better on it and get a better outcome.
What is the best part of being a new mom?
Now there comes the sweet things. What is the best of it?
The way your baby smell (seriously).
The firsts, all of them. The first cry, the first smile, diaper change, breastfeed (or bottle feed), all of them will take a piece of your heart and make it a thousand times bigger.
Seeing your baby sleep.
Each and every second of it, and you have to enjoy the moment because it will go in a blink.
At the end all the good things that comes from being a mother balances the not so good moments, and then some. Being a mother enriches your life, as if you were taking millions of self-help courses, changes your vision and help you see another side of your existence you will not know without it.
Life is like a multilevel game and being a mom just level you up.
